What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
