Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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