As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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