you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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