I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
