"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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