I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You may now shotgun with the bride
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
