happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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