Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
dude. I can hear the air.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
