so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Never joke about your clitoris.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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