You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
