is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
