So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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