We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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