So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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