At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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