I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So much rum. So many feels.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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