Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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