Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
