Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
