There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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