So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
