Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
