Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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