The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
