Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
