I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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