she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
