Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
