They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
