I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
