New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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