Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
