my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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