bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
