Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Even my vagina gasped.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
