It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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