He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
