he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
