My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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