Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
