Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
