I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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