Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
