STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
