Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
