We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
