I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
