I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
