I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
