should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize