trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
