OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
