so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
