I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
