Just cropdusted the office
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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