May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
