oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
